Every situation is different when it comes to relationships, and every person’s reaction to the situation is different. Sometimes it is hard not to get upset when we know it is time to move on from someone who we have shared a significant part of our life with. But we must be brave and make the right decisions for the right reasons. We must also be humble and accept our partner’s right to make a choice; even if that choice is to part ways with us.
The end of a relationship does not have to be a devastating event, if both lovers feel that their run is over, and that it is time to part ways. It can be seen as a time for change and renewal.
Whatever the case, when it all becomes clear that something isn’t right, then we must learn to let go. Here are 10 signs that it might be time:
1. The Communication Has Broken Down
Healthy relationships are based on open communication. If we feel that we can no longer express our feelings to the other, or that they don’t listen, or that they are unable to speak to us, then problems will never be solved, and feelings will remain unsurfaced. In the long run this leads to a lethal dose of tension; unspoken hurts, and sometimes unspoken love, gets brushed under the rug by everyone involved.
2. Affection and Passion Has Disappeared
In a long term relationship the level of passion and affection often waxes and wanes, perhaps to the rhythm of the lover’s cycles. Situation and environment can be a factor, and many couples find that passion can sometimes be overlooked; but they know how to reignite the flame.
If passion is constantly waning, and affection is a rare event, even over a long period of time, then it may be time to consider whether the physical connection may have diminished.
As well as being a physical factor in a relationship, we should also be passionate about our lover as a person, and we should want to be affectionate because we love them.
3. You Struggle To See Their Good Sides
When we get close to someone, but our hearts start to turn sour, we can sometimes find ourselves unable to see the good in them, even when we know that it is there. Instead, we seem only be able to pick out flaws, and we see their worst personality traits, whilst forgetting the good inside them. If we start to think helplessly bad thoughts about our partner, or we feel that they cannot see the good in us, then it may be time to move on; negative images of each other lead to negative perceptions, which leads to a negative experience.
4. There Is No Trust
Trust is always a must in a deep relationship, be it with family, friends, or partners. It is not only the physical trust, that they will not share their intimacy with another; it is also the trust that they will be there when we need them, the trust that they will look after us, respect us, and that they will also love themselves. Without trust we cannot give ourselves fully.
5. You Want Each Other To Be Different
If you love someone then you love them for who they are. If you want the other person to be something that they are not; to be different to how they really are, then you are not really looking to be with them. You are more likely looking to be with your ideal image of who they could, or should be. You might even be looking to be with someone else, either imaginary or real.
We should want what’s best for our loved ones, so we want them to grow as an individual, to realize their own potential, but this is quite different to wanting them to be somebody else, and if that is the case, then it may be time to let go.
6. Doubt Creeps In… And It Won’t Go Away
We all have our moments of doubt; we can doubt ourselves, the world we live in, and sometimes our partners, and our relationship with them.
Doubt is a normal reaction to commitment and without it we would make decisions blind. But love is strongest when their is no doubt. Love is something like knowing.
When doubt creeps in, and it just won’t go away… ever, then it might be a sign that we are not satisfied in the relationship. Something is bugging us that our conscious mind will not admit to.
7. You Feel Constricted
In love we often feel that we can express more of ourselves, that we can give ourselves wholly to another person. It feels liberating.
If the relationship gets full of knots and tangles, that we find we cannot unwind, then the feeling can become constricting. We no longer feel we can express our whole self; we feel even that we can express less of ourselves in the presence of our partner. This was not how it was meant to be, was it?
8. Trying To Make It Work Hasn’t Changed Anything
Despite all of your efforts to make it work, despite your attempts to express to each other how you are feeling, and what needs to be done, things still don’t change. Even being yourself doesn’t work anymore, and this is all you should need to be.
Perhaps you have outgrown each other, and are different people to who you were when you got together? There is nothing wrong with this, and both parties should try to recognize the change without bitterness. Whatever the case, if you are going round in circles, then something has to give.
9. You No Longer Make Each Other Feel Good
Relationships, for most people, are supposed to make us feel good. We all have different definitions of happiness, and different ideas about how a relationship can help us to be happy; but most of us would agree that happiness, contentment, and love are important. In short, they should be mostly positive.
If you find yourself constantly upset, or constantly upsetting your partner, then it may be time to let go. If the balance has tipped, and the relationship brings you both more gloom and doom than it does joy, then consider whether it is worth carrying on.
10. It Doesn’t Feel Right
This is the single most important sign that it might be time to let go. All other reasons are overshadowed by this simple notion. Love is not logical, it does not care for reasoning and rational. It is a feeling, and a deep one at that. We can only feel whether our relationships are right, and we can only feel when they are not good for us anymore.
Sometimes they can look great on paper, and bring us nothing, and sometimes they can look like a terrible mismatch, but bring us boundless joy. Only the heart knows whether we are feeling love. Only the hearts of the people involved know the truth.